Well howdy there, young trail hands!
Warm weather we're havin round these parts, huh? I reckon that calls for a storm pretty soon. Aye.
Before you travel on, hunker down and let me tell ya what's goin on at the Seventh Tower out there in Dark Lands. Rumor has it, and a tight grip it has, that strange sorcery is brewin in that evil place. They even got about to filming all their evil cantations and witchcraft they perform. Guess them sum bitches proud of themselves so much they gone and decided they want to show EVERYONE how bad dreams are made.
You want to see these vid-yas?
Well, alright youngin, but don't say this old timer didn't tell ya so.
Seventh Tower Youtube Channel is where the evil is.
Into the things that go bump in the night, are yee? Aye, why else would you go looking for Satan his self in them films?
Say, if you're interested in that I'd reckon you'd might take a likin to this other news I have from those sinister parts of the world. Word around the desert is that the lord of the Tower has captured the mind of a Writer and is drawing up the vilest of creations to unleash on mankind. I say true! Don't look at me so. I may be old, but I ain't senile. Stories go that they're even making "issues" out of em. You'd like to read em, you say? I suppose I have them with me. Stories bout some kinda "IT". . .
When you're done shaking in your boots make sure ya burn those retched things. I hear they scream in the fires, but it ain't worse than what they do to your dreams.
One last thing before ya go, cowboy. This might be the most important, too. You ever hear of an "Evil for Hire"? Well, some say that if your will is strong enough and you can afford the high price of your soul, you can hire the evil that lives at that there tower. Many a man has gone that way searching for help and has come back white haired and screaming forever. What I hear of the ritual is that all you have to do is send them a "message" or something called an "email". And no signal for them goes unnoticed. They always reply. And they always get what they want. Is that why you seek it? . . . No answer, ey? I guess I didn't really expect one. Yar.
Go on, then. Sun's going down. Best we go our separate ways.
Long days, and pleasant nights.
But when you stare eye to eye with the mad dog a the top of that winding stair, just remember: I dun told ya so.